Before I continued to blog about my artistry, wedding planning, or do beauty/product reviews, I really wanted to write this piece. It’s a moment and realization in my life that I think is relatable by everyone. In fact, I’ve contemplated on writing this post for 2 years now.  But after reading my friend and superstar hair artist, Monica’s post on the “Power of Vulnerability”, it really inspired me to just put myself out there.

Monica and I with our model from the WedLuxe shoot

2016 marks the 3rd year since leaving an agency and deciding to freelance. I must admit, the first year was difficult for me as I started to have a lack of self-confidence. I always want to give my clients the best possible experience, especially on such a special moment in their lives. Also, I must note that I’m a really competitive person and always compare myself to others. I wear my heart on my sleeves, so when I feel that I have failed or could have done better, I take it hard on myself.

photo by Stephen Sager Photography

There was one particular moment where I was emotionally drained. Prior to this one client, I felt like I was doing so well by myself…booking trials, booking weddings after successful trials, and getting new inquiries. But with this client, I felt like I had failed as an artist. It wasn’t at fault of the client but a series of events that resulted in this.
I internalize a lot of my insecurities and problems, so for me to open up to others is tough. My Fiancé noticed that something was wrong and asked what the matter was. I explained to him the situation and he sent me the following e-mail:

“Babes, I don’t think you’re a failure and you shouldn’t think that you are too. You should look at these as opportunities to help you realize that you will not win every trial and mature as an artist. You do have to keep in mind that though she was picky & indecisive and you did the best with what you had to go with; she also knew after the trial what she would also like to have too and was better off to articulate to another artist what she wants the next time around. In this case, the other artist was able to better give her the looks that she wanted; the key here is for you to use the experience to see what was done differently and enlighten yourself vs letting it bring you down. Look at the techniques used and see based on what she told you what you should have done differently and if there’s anything you could have done. Again, you have to realize that she was in a better position to say to another artist what she really wants. So don’t get down on this, but let it be a stepping stone for you to better mature as an artist out there.”

This e-mail changed my mindset.

Two years later, I now view every situation as a “lessons learned” opportunity to improve my customer service and technical skills and don’t think things to heart. I do care about each and every single one of my clients, but I now take a step back from an emotional standpoint and don’t let it ruin my mood or bring me down. By changing my mentality, it’s opened me up to a lot more opportunities and improve my business.

Hopefully if you’re ever feeling down, this post will help you.